Happy New (Premiership) Year - 2008/09 season

On supporting the Sponsors, and life in general: "They're not going to drink themselves..."
Round 11: "Nothing says 'dirt-bag' quicker than a tatoo."
Round 08: "I'm not prepared to be honest with you..."
Round 07 (Collected Wisdom):
- After his dismissal by a slow bowler: "I don't rate spinners."
- Explaining the state of his cricket "Not-so" whites: "I went in the swamp."
Round 06: "I was trashed Thursday, blind on Friday, and I have to back up again tonight."
Round 05 (R.Smith, caught in deep, 0): "I never get dropped..."
Round 04- Post match assessment following MBCC's 10 wicket win over Harbord Bowling: "Just as well I didn't need to bat, I've left my bat at home..."

The Master Returns - 2007/08 season

Any car ride home (up to Round 7) to Chris Sweet: "Shut up, old man..."
Round 3: "You don't suddenly overnight get to be lazy - it takes years of work."

It's the 2006/07 season!!

Round 1: On Jimmy's latest lady: "She sounds like a real munter"
Round 2: On getting out: "He bowled a short ball that should've been thumped but... too tired"
Round 3: After scoring 46: "I think I need a spew" (Caused by his physical condition from the proverbial and literal "night before", rather than disappointment at his dismissal)
Round 4: "There couldn't have been much of them (to hit) out there. It's so cold he's got a third Adam's Apple " (Vague sympathy for the Belrose bowler receiving a knock in the reproductive equipment from an ill directed return)
Round 4: "I leave you under no illusions..." (On his running for singles, or lack there of)
Round 6: "I can imagine that will happen often, Al, since he's at first slip" (In response to Al Lemarchand's request to make opposition captain Jacko run about in the field, while Richo was batting)
Round 9:
"It's pretty safe to say... I was tempted to throw my bat from half way. I can't believe I got out to that chump." (After his dismissal during the B3's first loss of 2006/07, bowled via his pads)
"Last time, run out by a chump. This time, bowled by a chump. This should not happen." (An expanded critical analysis of his last two innings)

The Australian Cricket team

On Matthew Hayden: "He should stick to something he is good at, being a christian weirdo and churning out crap cookbooks." On Mike Lewis: "Commentator at one stage said of Mick Lewis, he had just been speaking to some Australian who believed he is the best bowler in Australia to bowl at the death. Massive Spranger, he also has some congenital birth defect that manifests itself in the form of an eye twitch. Probably relates to some sort of brain malfunction where at times he is unable to perform some of the higher brain functions such as independent thought." (After the 5^th Australia-South African One Dayer. poor Lewis conceeded a world record 113 runs off his 10 overs as South Africa successfully chased 434 runs. Good captaincy, Punter...)
On Brett Dorey: "The biggest problem is his complete lack of talent."

Compilation by Matt Fisher (March 2006)

Round 14 v Har-bored Sprangers
"All of a sudden I'd drunk seven beers"
"He's started listening to the voices, he hasn't taken his medicine" (Trying to explain the behaviour of Har-bored bowler T.Spranger)
"You're an ordinary human being" (Overly generous. Putting into words what all his teammates were thinking, to above player after he was all-smiles-in-victory)
Reflections in the Bar afterwards
"It tastes like needles...." (Hair-of-the-Dog time)
"She just ripped down the curtains down, put them on, and said, 'I'm going out tonight!' " (On a patron's fashion non-sense)

Compilation by Matt Fisher (February 2006)

"Once you've got the bloodnut gene, you're @#$%^ed" (Did Shawn Pollock hear this just before demolishing Australia on Sunday?)
18 Feb: Round 13
"I think it's time for us to sit down again." (Richo on the conclusion of the Tea Break)
11 Feb: MBCC v MWRLCC
"I would ignore you as well" (to Chris Sweet)
"When it happens, the broadband of pain goes up your back"
"Just connect me up to the waste tap"
"I don't think it's going to happen"
"That'll make all the difference" (On Lloyd Walker going to umpire with a broom to distinguish himself from the fielders)

Compilation and Commentry by Matt Fisher (January 2006)

"Is he the one that looks like he's been in a car accident?"
"We need to get a team pump."
"787 is a good score."

Compilation and Commentry by Rob Herne (December 2005)

"I can't be bothered - it's too hard."
"Will I go out with a lid on?" (obviously rhetorical)
"I can't believe how long it was."
"Nobody wants to see that."
"It's the curse of the cheap drinks."
"Fitness was becoming an issue." (On the occasion of his dismissal)
"The next game I'm turning up sober." (like a new year's resolution or something akin to the holy grail)
"I've got rubber soled shoes on." (in response to be queried about the wisdom of sitting on a metal bench, under a tree, during the storm that ended Round 08,2005/06)

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